When High Performance Costs You: A Leadership Lesson I Didn’t Want to Learn

 

I didn’t plan to go quiet.

In fact, if you know me, consistency, presence, and impact are part of how I operate — not just professionally, but personally.

And yet, these past weeks unfolded differently.

Buying a new home.

A full home refurbishment.

Packing up an old life.

Moving into a new one.

Setting everything up again from scratch.

All while continuing client work, caring for my children, running a household, managing logistics, and keeping life moving.

On paper, I was coping.

In reality, something important slipped away.

𝗠𝗲.

The gym disappeared first.

Then walks.

Then time with friends.

Meals became functional, not nourishing.

Family visits were postponed.

Connection was deferred to “when things calm down.”

This wasn’t dramatic.

It was subtle.

And that’s what makes it dangerous.

As leaders — especially high-performing ones — we’re incredibly good at justifying temporary sacrifices.

“It’s only for a few weeks.”

“Once this is done, I’ll get back to myself.”

“This is what commitment looks like.”

And yet, some of the most influential leaders I’ve worked with over the years have warned me about exactly this:

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲.

When too many areas demand attention, something has to give.

And too often, we choose the same thing to let go of:

Our bodies

Our relationships

Our inner life

Our sense of ease

What struck me most during this period wasn’t exhaustion — it was disconnection.

From my body.

From joy.

From the parts of leadership that feel expansive rather than heavy.

That’s when the deeper lesson landed.

𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗰.

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹.

When we remove them, leadership doesn’t collapse immediately — it quietly erodes.

Clarity becomes effortful.

Presence becomes thin.

Decisions feel heavier.

And the very impact we’re trying to protect starts to cost us more than it should.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁.

𝗜𝘁 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁.

This experience reminded me that high performance without replenishment always sends an invoice — and it’s usually paid in energy, health, or relationships.

So this isn’t a confession.

It’s a recalibration.

A conscious return to what sustains leadership over the long term:

Movement

Nourishment

Friendship

Family

Space

Stillness

If you’re reading this and recognising yourself, let me ask you something gently but directly:

What have you been postponing in the name of “just getting through this phase”? And what would shift if you chose to protect it now — not later?

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗿.

𝗜𝘁 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲.

May 2026 be the year you stop proving how much you can carry —

and start leading from a place that truly sustains you.

To your success,
Isabel

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Which inisght has impacted you the most? Drop it in the comments!

Isabel Valle is an award-winning Peak Performance Strategist and global leadership coach, dedicated to helping executives and business leaders achieve sustainable success. Through her acclaimed programs like Leadership Reimagined and Lead365, Isabel equips leaders with the tools to foster innovation, build high-performing teams, and thrive in a fast-evolving world.  A sought-after speaker and author, Isabel blends data-driven insights with a human-centered approach to deliver transformative results. Learn more at www.isabelvalle.com.