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WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSING ON?

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A while back I watched an interview with Oprah and Deepak Chopra, where he related about his experiences of being on a “monk’s journey” for 2 weeks in Thailand.

Despite having to endure many hardships during this time, the part he found most challenging was walking barefoot through the villages in paths that were rocky and full of bristles and thorns at times.
When discussing this with another senior monk, his guidance through this challenge allowed Deepak to learn one of his most valuable lessons yet: “Yes, walking barefoot can sometimes be painful, if what you put your focus on is the foot on the ground. Notice however that you also have another foot that, at the same time, is not touching the ground, which feels very good. At the end of the day, you can either choose to place your attention on the foot that’s hurting, or the one that’s not.”

I love this story so much, because we can apply it to so many aspects of our lives. When presented with challenges, we can choose to look at the positive and opportunity that this may bring, or focus on the inconvenience, the pain, and the struggle that this new experience could potentially present. Same external circumstance, yet complete different internal response. And it all comes down to which lens you choose to look at the situation with.

I can tell you first hand, choosing to look at whatever challenge comes your way with “the good lens” will bring you much peace and will enable you to navigate through those times with much more ease than if you were focusing on the bad. So, next time you are faced by a challenge, or if you are facing one right now, ask yourself: “What lens am I using to view this situation?”. And if you are using the wrong type of lens, ask yourself: “What good can come out of this? What lessons will I learn by going through this? What is it that I’m not noticing that will allow me to view this situation positively?”

Here’s to your success!

Isabel x

THE QUALITY OF YOUR QUESTIONS DICTATES THE QUALITY OF YOUR RESULTS

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THE QUALITY OF YOUR QUESTIONS DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF YOUR RESULTS

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your current quality of life? Your performance at work? Your relationships with loved ones and friends?
Often, we find ourselves scoring quite low on all of the above, and keep applying the same type of questions, which no doubt will help us achieve the same level of lousy results.

And if we want to change the results we are having in business and in life, we need to start applying a different level of thinking, and ask ourselves different, better questions. This is a piece of advice that I offer all of my clients, and for good reason.

“There are no right answers to wrong questions.”
– Ursula K. Le Guin

For the most part, these are the questions that make us feel uncomfortable, and we may not know the answers to them, which is precisely why you need to start asking them, if you are really serious about getting better business and life results.

Asking better questions helps you improve your ability to work on the right things, with the right energy, at the right time, the right way … for YOUR BEST RESULTS.

Asking better questions is an ongoing process, and the person who will benefit the most from it is you. Your ability to improve the questions you ask yourself will improve the quality of your life in all areas.

Asking the right questions can help you balance, focus, make better decisions, and prioritise more effectively. Unsure what questions to ask? Not to worry, I have you covered!

I have created a very simple list to help you start your journey toward better questions and better results! This is just the beginning, and from here on you need to work on finding bigger and better questions for yourself that help you create the results you truly want.

Please share with everyone you know who is not happy with the level of results they are experiencing in the business and in their lives.

Here’s to your success!
Isabel x

Are you on the brink of burnout?

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Are you on the brink of burnout?

Here are 5 signs that you may be, and how to pull yourself back.

As a woman in the pursuit of my passions, I have had it tough this last year, falling victim to the stress and fatigue that comes along with giving so much of myself.

You have to agree with me, life has gotten busy. Busier than ever before in fact. Most of us will just about get through our days, struggling to find any down time for ourselves.

We may not speak about the subject often, but burnout is an ever more present issue in the modern workplace, and the statistics paint a pretty doom picture. A survey by Kronos Inc. and Future Workplace states that employee burnout is perhaps the worst than it has ever been, citing as the main reasons too much work, too little pay, too many technological advancements and too much emphasis on recruiting new employees rather than keeping existing ones happy.

Other factors related to burnout are stress, problems unwinding in the evenings, worrying, conflict, overwhelm from juggling too many things, sleepless nights, etc… sounds familiar?

Burnout rates cost companies greatly in terms of productivity and absenteeism, as well as a loss of employee engagement, and losing top performers.

Technology is also playing a big part in increased burnout rates. We are now being constantly inundated by incoming streams of information, which can lead to a sense of overwhelm. We have adopted an “always on” attitude which is very damaging and depleting of our own resources.

The World Health Organisation says stress has become a “World Wide Epidemic”, and as such, we must speak openly about it.

So what causes burnout? There are many reasons why people may face burnout. This may be caused by personal stress, such as finance worries, family issues and health reasons. When it comes to work, it could be related to work pressures, tight deadlines, too much responsibilities and a lack of managerial support.

Unfortunately, many companies are in business to make a profit at the expense of the health, well-being and security of its employees. Employees have to spend more time doing work and less time with their family, and for no additional pay in most cases. This is a great cause of frustration for employees, and one of the main reasons why they leave their jobs.

So what exactly is burnout? Burnout is broadly defined as “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress” or “a state of chronic stress”. Feeling stressed, anxious and overwhelmed are some of the factors that characterise employee burnout.

I don’t know about you, but these symptoms resonate very closely with me. Having suffered burnout on more than one occasion, once you hit burnout, you are simply not able to function effectively on either your personal or professional lives, you become cynical and detached from life, and you develop feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment.

Burnout doesn’t just show up overnight. It is a very slow process that silently creeps in over time, which makes it much harder to recognise.

So what are the signs of physical and emotional exhaustion? Here are the top 5 signs of burnout:


Chronic fatigue: this may vary from feeling a lack of energy in the initial stages, to feeling completely physically and emotionally exhausted to the point that you are unable to show up for work or get much done.

Lack of concentration and focus / Forgetfulness: forgetting things easily, lack of clarity and focus, letting things pile up, these are all sings that you may be approaching burnout.

Anxiety: raging from tension and worry feelings initially, to more serious anxiety symptoms that may stop you from being functional and productive.

Physical symptoms: these include pains, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, tummy aches, dizziness and headaches among others.

Lack of productivity and poor performance: no matter how many hours you may work, you don’t seem to stay on top of your to-do list.

I can pretty much relate to all symptoms of burnout. Due to my relentless quest to want to better myself, I pushed myself beyond my capacities, and I struggled with trying to stay on top of it all. So for me it is personal. Having suffered with yet another bout of burnout in the last few months, I needed to get back on my feet as quickly as possible. So I began to research the options that would help me bounce back as quickly as possible.

As amazing as a tropical get away, or taking a full break from everything may sound, those are simply not viable or realistic options when it comes to conquering burnout for most of us. I therefore had to find a way in which to continue to stay on top of my responsibilities, whilst creating some space in my life to beat burnout.

These are the steps that I found most helpful, and I hope they will help you too:

    • Self-awareness. If you are a non-stop type of person like me, you must intentionally create moments in your day when you check in with yourself. More often than not, we run on automatic pilots and aren’t aware that stress or burnout are rapidly creeping in. In order to tackle a problem, you must first be aware that there is a problem! So go back into the signs of burnout and ask yourself, what’s my general attitude towards life? work? my relationships? Do I look forward to what my days bring? Am I excited about life, or feel stuck in a rut? Do I look forward to social events and spending time outdoors? Do I take care of my own needs? How are my energy levels? How’s my sleeping lately? Do I feel that I am on top of all my responsibilities? Also try to actively listen to what family, friends and colleagues may be telling you. At times, we may be so caught up trying to stay on top of life, that we may not see what’s happening right in front of us.

    • Get clear as to what causes burnout. I have done some research on the subject, and was very surprised to find out that the real root cause of burnout is not about not being able to take enough breaks, but as Marissa Mayer (former CEO of Yahoo!) suggests, burnout is directly linked to resentment, and not being able to do what matters to you so much that, when you miss it, you become resentful. Once I learned that burnout is the result of not being able to do what I love or what’s really important to me regularly, my whole attitude towards the issue shifted com

      pletely.

 

  • Do what you love and what makes you happy regularly. Make sure that you intentionally create the time and space to do those things that matter to you, even little ones. If you are unclear as to what this things are that make you happy initially, think about any hobbies you used to love, or new ones you would love to take up – from playing a music instrument, to dancing, to even just taking a nice bubble bath whilst reading a good book once per week. Also, look for things in your life to be grateful for, and dedicate more time to them (loved ones, walks in nature, playing Lego with your kids… take your pick!). Finally, become aware of the kinds of activities and people that you feel energised with, and do more of it, and you’ll start to feel those batteries charging!

  • Remove those things that aren’t important. We all got used to being so busy, that on those rare occasions when we may have some time or space in our lives, we tend to fill those up with things that don’t really provide us with much. So take a look at the activities that you are choosing to fill up your time with, and pick as many as you can to let go of. Let me help you with some examples of things that I know for a fact are not terribly important – spending countless hours scrolling through social media, going to bed late watching Netflix, forcing yourself to go out when you know you should be staying home and resting, frequently bringing home work, etc. Be ruthless and learn to put yourself and your self-care habits first.

  • Get back on the health wagon. Prioritise sleep, eating clean and exercise. This is not the time to go marathon training; instead, choose more low key activities such as walking, yoga, swimming, etc. During the day, give yourself permission to take naps if you feel that you need them. Naps are not just for children! Replace a cup of coffee for a 20min nap, it’s the best way to refresh your brain. It is also a great idea to prioritise your emotional health, and look at ways to reduce stress and worry, such as meditation, warm baths with essential oils and relaxing music, a gentle massage, or having a great laugh with family or friends.


  • Be patient. Burnout doesn’t happen overnight, so it is unrealistic to expect it to go away overnight. Be gentle with yourself and just stay consistent with the action steps above. Let go of any timeframe or unrealistic expectations that you may have about getting back to full health. The healing will take place when it’s ready, not when you dictate!

  • Avoid technology. Seriously, take control of your devices before they entirely control your life. I am not saying to remove them all together, but instead, be mindful of the amount of time you dedicate to your gadgets (iPads, computers, smartphones, etc). Also stay away from technology the last hour before falling asleep; try to read a book or listen to some guided meditation, deep breathing or journaling instead. Give your brain a break and turn your devices off as much as possible.

  • Find support. During your process of recovery, it is very important that you find someone that you can openly talk to, and someone that will help you stay accountable to your recovery plan. You don’t always have to go to a professional, being able to talk about what you are going through with friends or family will also be very beneficial. If however, none of the strategies seem to work, you may need to put yourself in the hands of a professional.

Whatever your situation, you can write a different story, so kiss burnout good-bye and create a new, more energised you, ready to take on whatever life or work throws your way.
Over to you now. How do you avoid professional burnout? Do you have any special tips to beat it or avoid it all together? Please let me know in the comments section below.


Here’s to your success!

With Love,
Isabel x

 

Isabel Valle PCC ACTP

Executive and Leadership Coach, mentor and facilitator

Founder of Global Room

“Coaching for Leadership, for Growth, for Success”

It is never too late to change things around and create the life you want

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This is the story of a client of mine, and the lessons learnt along the way…

Less than a year ago, I met Linda at a time when she was ready to quit her managerial job, feeling inadequate, highly emotional and doubting her abilities in all aspects of life.

She knew she needed help, only she didn’t know how to go about it. All she knew was that if she could become a better leader at work, that would help part of the situation that she was in. At that time she read an article of mine and decided to take a chance on herself, and invest in some coaching.

In less than 6 months, Linda was a completely transformed individual. She knew who she was, what she wanted, and how to get it. She felt empowered, motivated, focused and confident in her abilities in both her personal and professional lives.

The other week this is the latest update that I got from her:

“Hi Isabel,

Hope it’s all going well!

I just wanted to let you know the business is preparing an offer for me in a global role leading talent development.

The best part is they have agreed to continue to be based here to support my fertility journey!

I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude for the journey I have been on!

Thanks again for being a shinning light through a dark time. I am still learning as I go, but am becoming far more confirmed with the person I am and about the person I am becoming. 🙂

X”

I love, love love getting messages like the one from Linda from my clients. I couldn’t be happier for her. She is incredibly talented and, once she understood her own potential and tapped into her own inner resources, her external world changed to accommodate her brilliance.

I wanted to share Linda’s story to bring you some lessons to this story:

  • It is never too late to invest in yourself and create the changes you seek.

  • Asking for help is not sign of weakness, but a sign of strength and the precursor or positive changes ahead.

  • If you are clear about who you are and what you want, you can confidently ask for what you want and it shall be given (OK there is a lot more that I could flesh out of this subject, but more on that later…)

  • Change is good, and doing the work necessary, but the rewards are far more worth it!

  • You can, at any time, choose to take the lead on what goes on in your life, and create the results you’re after.

I am constantly being inspired by people who, no matter what hurdles they face, decide to own them and take action so they can move forward towards the best version of themselves. It is a daunting journey, uneasy at times, and yet there are no regrets for those who try it.

So, what are your thoughts on Linda’s story? Can you recall a story like that in yourself or anyone you know? Do you feel stuck in your career and ready to quit? Are you doubting your abilities in business or in life? Wishing you could move up the ladder but don’t know how?

It is time to do something about it. Your first step is to own where you’re at, and the next is to find a way to help you propel forward.

Here’s to your success!

With Love,

Isabel x

HOW GOING THROUGH TOUGH TIMES CAN BRING BEAUTIFUL LESSONS

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My absolute worst nightmare was finally happening. As soon as I woke up early that morning, something made me go straight to my phone. My mum had been in hospital for over 10 days, and her situation was serious. I had been talking on the phone with my brothers to try and make a decision on whether I should fly to Spain. The situation was made worse by the fact that at that time, my husband had already relocated to Bangkok to start his new assignment, and I was left behind in the Borneo jungle by myself with my two little ones. If my husband had been at home with us, I wouldn’t have thought about it; I would have taken a flight and gone to be by my mother’s side.

A similar situation happened some years earlier, when my dad had a stroke. We were then living in Australia, and my family had decided not to tell me that dad was going through very serious times. I found out by chance, when a friend sent me a message to ask me if my dad had been taken out of intensive care. I was a rollercoaster of emotions. Angry that my family decided to keep me in the dark. Frustrated that I was almost 2 days travel away from him and at the time, I couldn’t afford a ticket to go and see him, incredibly sad and ashamed that he was going through all that, and I wasn’t there with him, letting him know how much I loved him. Conversations with my family only made things worse. “We all agreed when you moved to Australia not to tell you about the bad news and worry you for nothing. It’s not like you’d be able to make it on time if anything was to happen.” I had never been so mad at them before, and their thoughtless lack of consideration. “That’s not your choice to make. I deserve to know everything that’s going on, and you let me worry about what I decide to do”.
A month after that call, I was able to travel back to Spain and spend time with my dad. And I am so very grateful that I did, as that would be the last time he would recognise me. That time with him allowed us to right our wrongs, to speak our truths, and to bond in a way that we never could before.

Fast forward to that morning in Borneo. I immediately saw that message from my brother and, without reading it, I felt instant panic. What the message conveyed was far worse than I could have ever imagined. “I am really sorry Isabel, dad died. Please don’t bother looking for flights, you won’t make it anyway.” I can’t even being to express how I felt at that moment. Such painful memories as I relive them writing this. The only way to describe it is as if I was chained to a wall, and I had no vote or say on how things were going to take place. I thought the message would be about mum. Instead, as fate would have it, it was my dad who decided to end his time here first.

My mum was so sick that her doctors refused to let her leave the hospital. So my brothers signed a waiver form so she could leave and bury her husband. Because of that, the funeral was arranged in less than 24hrs from his passing. Unfortunately, that left me with no time to find any kind of flight combination that would take me to my dad in time to kiss him goodbye. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so ashamed in my entire life.

My biggest fear as an expat was being far away from my loved ones at times when they really needed me. I guess I had always imagined that even if things took a turn for the worse, I would always be there to say farewell. I can’t begin to explain the emotions that I went through. As I cried uncontrollably for over 24 hrs straight, trying to process what had just happened, I couldn’t remove the guilt and shame that I wasn’t able to be there with mum, consoling her and being there for her, and dad, honouring him in his las moments with us. I still carry that pain. I didn’t dare to talk to anybody, I was so remorseful. My mum went back straight to hospital and life just went on.

It wasn’t long after the funeral that I started receiving many messages from friends and loved ones, offering me their condolences. I felt like the only thing I could do was to apologise to them all. For not being there, for having decided to move so far away from my nest. Their responses allowed me to release some of my shame. The first message said: “You better stop that non sense. Nobody in the funeral thought any less of you. If anything, we all knew just how agonising these moments must have been for you. You don’t owe anybody any apologies. Yes, you did move away, and you have since made it a point to come home every year, to spend your entire summer with your loved ones, to care for your parents during that time, instead of choosing to do anything else. And that was all he needed. He needed you then, not now. We all know it wasn’t easy for you to leave your husband and take your two small children to travel incredible distances to care for them every year. Your dad will remember that, just as we all do. You have shown more love and affection for him since you left Spain, than you could have ever done if you were close by. The funeral was just a few hours. What you had given him before that was much more precious to him. ”

It felt so good to be able to take a step back and see the situation from a whole different perspective. It felt so good to finally be able to breathe. Had I not left my country, I would have probably moved to another city, visit sporadically, whenever I had a few days, perhaps on special occasions. Being an expat however, it allowed me to be able to go back every year, for at least 6 weeks, and I spent all that time trying to make out from all the time I wasn’t there during the year.

I would have given anything to be at my father’s funeral. Instead, I get to visit him for a whole 6 weeks every year when I get back home. In the years prior to his passing, I spent my summers caring for him, and creating lifelong memories. And every time I left, I made sure to give him a proper farewell, not having left anything unsaid, just in case that was to be the last time I saw him.
The last time I saw him alive, just before I left once more for Bangkok, we said our best good byes yet. For a brief moment, he called me by my name and told me that he loved me. Not easy words for my dad. Considering that he had not recognised me in over 6 years, in that moment, I left feeling like our farewell gave us the most perfect memory to hold onto forever.

Nowadays, we go back home to visit mum, acutely aware that we are on borrowed time with her also. This fact only makes our time together even more precious. We enjoy her every day we are there, as if it was our last. Let me assure you, that when I was living back home, that was never the case. You get so caught up with daily annoyances, it makes it difficult to appreciate what you have.

Growing up in a small village in Spain was very challenging for me. I was considered the black sheep in the family, as I always struggled fitting into the conventional way of living, mainstream ideas and societal conditioning. I found it hard to belong, and very often I’d be at odds with my loved ones.

Since becoming an expat, I have made peace with it all. I needed the freedom to go out into the world and gain perspective, to have a chance to miss them, to know myself outside of the family unit so that I could get to know each one of my family members objectively, and to accept their imperfect beauty, just as I did with mine. The longer I spend out of my home, the more I feel I belong with my family.

Because being an expat has made me acutely aware of how precious family is, and has made me become extremely grateful and so lucky to have my family. Our love for each other only grows more every year, and I am convinced that being an expat allowed me to see the beauty of what I left behind.

We all have fears, some bigger than others. We get so caught up on them, that we are unable to see the big picture, to accept what is, and to let go of what we cannot control. Going through this traumatic event showed me a place of beauty that, had I not gone through it, I wouldn’t have discovered.

My biggest lessons in going through this was to appreciate what you have, and share each moment with your loved ones as if it was your last.

I hope that through my story, you are able to see the beauty of what you have too.

With much love and admiration,
Isabel x

Are you suffering from this? I know I am, so it is time to do something about it!

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Are you suffering from this? I know I am, so it is time to do something about it!

Lately I have been feeling different. Not just physically tired, but lacking some mental and emotional capacity, which has made me moody, and is causing me to face my days with more ups and downs than I’d like to.

Over the last few months I’ve been investing long hours upgrading my business skills, creating a whole new brand of products and services – more of that to come – whilst trying to keep up with my normal work, the house and of course, my most important role, my two gorgeous children.

I can’t believe that it has been almost a year since my husband had to relocate to an island of Vietnam for work, leaving us behind in Bangkok, as his new location is still very under developed and lacks even the most basic facilities to make that location our home. So I have been running around, doing the best I can, soldiering on so to speak, adapting to our new family situation. This has taken a toll on all of us, and we are continually looking for ways to be able to reunite in the not so distant future. The life we chose to live as expats does not always come without its challenges!

So in the midst of all this, and owning up to my true nature, what do I do? I look for ways to do more, to push beyond my current limitations, to challenge myself to face towards the fear, and to charge ahead and do it anyway. I decided that it was time to either start an MBA, or do something similar that would allow me to take my business global. After much consideration, I decided to sign up for what I call a “practical MBA”. I signed up with a big team of mentors across all business functions to help me learn, grow, and stretch myself to help me manifest the visions that I have for my business in the next few years.

“Perfect timing, as always! – my husband said. Yup, I do have this annoying way of stirring things up just when I should be doing the complete opposite. But the way that I see it, it will never be the perfect time to do anything, and life will always get in the way, so you may as well start working on what you want to achieve, and somehow, life will always show you the way to get there.

So lately I have been feeling like time has been working against me. The days go by very quickly, I don’t have much time for breaks, always on the go. My favourite time of the day is when I finally hit the bed and am able to let go.

It is not wonder that I’ve been feeling a little off, lacking physical, mental and emotional capacities. But I have also noticed that my ability to make sound decisions is heading south. I’ve been observing my decision making process lately, and I can almost compare it to the times when I was pregnant with my children. No, I am not pregnant before you ask!

I did however get curious as to what may be causing the decline in my ability to make decisions as I would normally do, and I found it! It is a condition called Decision Fatigue.

In a nutshell, no matter how rational and honourable you try to be, you can’t make decision after decision without paying a biological price. This is different from physical fatigue, as you are not consciously aware of being tired, but you are low on mental energy. And so the more choices you make throughout your day, the harder each one becomes for your brain, until it eventually starts looking for shortcuts by either becoming reckless (acting on impulse without considering the consequences of your actions), or quite the opposite, doing nothing (aka the ultimate energy saver). Research about this newish condition has demonstrated that there is a finite store of mental energy for exerting self-control.

Did you know that the average amount of remotely conscious decisions and adult makes each day equals about 35,000? In contrast, children only make about 3,000 decisions per day.

Now I understand why highly-successful people like Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg have famously eschewed this morning struggle by sticking to the same outfit every day. They weren’t trying to make fashion statements; rather, they made conscious efforts to minimize daily decision-making.

So if you find yourself taking longer than usual to make simple decisions, putting off at least some of the bigger decisions, and you notice an increase in your own impulsive behaviour, you may be suffering from decision fatigue.

But fear not, there are plenty of ways in which you can cope with decision fatigue. I want to share with you the top three that work best for me personally:

  1. Make the most important decisions earlier in the day. I find that if I leave the biggest decisions for later in the day, when I am feeling more tired and overwhelmed, I won’t have the same clarity and ability to make sharp decisions. So plan ahead, and identify the night before, or early the same day, what are the most critical decisions that you’ll need to make on that day, and allocate some time early on to make them.

  2. Back off from the chaos.There’s a reason why some of your best ideas and decisions are made when you’re in the shower or on a walk outside without distractions. When you pull away from demands of daily life, you free the prefrontal cortex, which is the “thinking” part of your brain responsible for logical thinking and using willpower to overcome impulses (crucial to fighting decision fatigue). By giving your brain a break, you allow it to make improved neural connections and ultimately better decisions. I personally love yoga, and sitting outside in my balcony looking at the sky, to give myself a break from it all.

  3. Create daily routines that minimise decision making. Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States said:“You’ll see I wear only grey or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.” The most successful people conserve their willpower by developing effective habits and routines to help reduce the amount of stress in their lives. I preplan all of my weekly meals on Sunday, do my weekly food shopping on Sundays and Wednesdays, and I set up the same time for exercising daily. Whenever I can, I schedule everything I need to do in advance and review it the night before and first thing that day. Regarding having to wear the same clothes every day… that may never happen!

If you follow the above steps, and make an effort to eat healthy food, drink lots of water, and give yourself permission to have some breaks, your brain will thank you!

If this is you, good lack on your journey to replenishing your mental capacities. And if you know someone who may be suffering from decision fatigue, please share with them. We simply cannot continue to borrow energy from tomorrow. And while it is impossible to maximize your willpower for every moment of every day, it is possible to make a few changes to your day and your routine so that you can get the most of your decisions and make consistent progress on the things that are important to you.

Here’s to your success!

Isabel x

DO YOU PROCRASTINATE? Find Out The Reason Why You Procrastinate (Spoiler Alert – It’s Not What You Think!)

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design desk display eyewear

I don’t know about you, but I find myself at times procrastinating when I know that I have a lot on my plate.

Over the years, I have done a lot of research on the subject of procrastination, and have learned many different ways in which to deal with it. Procrastination however, is a habit that it’s hard to beat, and it tends to creep in when you least see it coming. And when it does, you hate yourself for giving in to this toxic habit.

But here are some good news. Research in procrastination suggests that procrastination has nothing to do with getting things done, and more to do with … stress!

Most people affected by procrastination are people who have a lot on their plate and have a lot to juggle, people who are thinkers by nature. So procrastination is a form of stress relief.

Let me repeat it again – for all of you who procrastinate, procrastination is not the issue – it’s stress. So when you are asking your brain to kick into action and be productive at work, the brain may not be feeling up to it, as it has the stress to deal with, and so it needs to take a break.

If you are like me, you may be very harsh on yourself when you don’t get done as much as you thought you would, because you have instead spent time doing something of little value. If this is you, you need to be kind to yourself, and do the best that you can. Instead of beating yourself up for procrastinating, try and work on the actual reason that’s causing you stress. Trying to work on whatever is stressing you over will help you get on with the little things that you need to achieve.

One of the best tips that I can give you to get rid of this habit, is to get used to start doing whatever needs to be done for just 5 minutes. If you challenge yourself to do this, research shows that 80% of people will keep going. So the real trick in conquering this habit is to start doing what you don’t want to do. So it’s all going to come down to the choice that you make – continue to beat yourself up over not doing what needs to be done, or commit to just start doing it for 5 minutes.

I learnt this technique only too well when I was running long distances. Many mornings, I’d have to get up at 4.30am to run for hours. The day before, I could already hear myself going through all the reasons as to why I shouldn’t do it. My response would be to have my clothes ready and my trainers ready to put on by the door. In the morning, I would force myself to get dressed, put my shoes on and leave the house and give myself a goal of walking for 5 minutes (if running seemed like too much). Other than one day when I felt sick and tired and decided to come home after those 5 minutes, the rest I kept going and achieved incredible personal goals!

So, in knowing this new piece of information, instead of asking you why you procrastinate, I wan to ask you – what are you stressed about? Please take a moment to consider this question, and reflect on what may be needed for you to reduce it.

Here’s to your success!

Isabel x

Is Worry Getting The Best Of You? Here Are 8 Healthy Ways To Deal With Worry

Posted on by Posted in Coaching Leave a comment
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Worry… we’ve all felt it, some more than others. That uneasy feeling that is so hard to shake off; the knot on the stomach, the anxiety, the constant overthinking… it is a very real and debilitating feeling, and one that it’s so hard to get rid of. And before you know it, there is a storm brewing inside your head, creating chaos within, putting a strain on both your mental and physical health.

Worrying has become a chronic, widespread issue in today’s society. Most of us seem to constantly worry about our future, our finances, our relationships – or the lack of, sickness, fears, etc. There is an endless list of issues that keep us trapped in constant worry, which stops us from feeling joy, fun and happiness. So let’s work on helping you reduce worrying now.
While worry in itself is not bad, too much of it can lead to anxiety, which can have a lasting impact on our health and happiness. Whilst worrying is a very unpleasant feeling, it is worthy to note that the fact that we are having this feeling is a warning sign that something is off and we need to start paying attention to it. So rather than reacting to it negatively, I would like to invite you to consider this feeling as an opportunity to be curious about what’s really triggering it in the first case, the root cause, so to speak.

You may feel worried about possible negative outcomes, in which case you are really having an opportunity to identity these fears and do something about it before they become a reality. For example, you may be afraid of failing an exam, in which case, you may be motivated to study hard for it; you may worry about getting sick, which may give you the kick start that you need to make you eat healthier choices and exercise.
Worry can if fact help you avoid potential negative outcomes, and helps you plan adequately for it. So be open to view worry as your body’s ability to speak to you and get you on the straight and narrow. If you are able to look at worry as a benefit and act on it, then your work here is done.

For other people however, worry can become a problem if they are unable to turn off their worries, and they feel like they are having a constant cycle of endless repetitive thoughts, without it leading to positive problem solving. In this case, worrying can lead to stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, digestive issues and even depression, to name just a few.

You see, if you spend most of your time worrying, you will also be creating unpleasant events or circumstances in relation to the energy that you are focusing on. In essence, you will be manifesting what you are actually worrying about, just because you are constantly thinking and worrying about it. I have said it many times, and I will say it again: what you focus on, grows.

Constant, endless worrying can really affect our work, studies, relationships and life in general. If this is you, I hear you. It is not easy to live with worry consistently, which is why I want to share with you 8 healthy ways to deal with it, so you can gain your life back:

1. Accept your worry. In the presence of a negative emotion, one of our first instincts if to run away or hide from it. Most of us aren’t really being educated on how to identify and deal with emotions, and are taught to hide and dismiss them. Not dealing head on with negative emotions will only make matters worse. If you want to get rid of worry, you must start by admitting to yourself that you are feeling worried, and accept it wholeheartedly. We all have it, and you must be OK facing it and accepting it for what it is, an emotion that hasn’t been dealt with yet. You can reframe the way you think about worry as a signal of a problem that needs to be solved, and the actual worrying is your body’s way of communicating with you. Allowing the worry to continue to live within you without you doing anything about it is simply not an option, and a waste of your time.

2. Identify your worries, and decide what worries are worth tackling. You simply cannot deal with worry until you become clear as to what your worries really are. Most of us tend to assume that we know what we are worried about, but in my experience working with many clients, we are truly only aware on the surface level of what’s really worrying us.
By understanding all of your worries, you will be able to discern between the 3 following options:
1) This is a valid worry that I need to work on and find a solution for.
2) This worry is illogical and I have no control over it– so I need to find a way to let go (i.e.. Reframing it / seeking professional help, etc).
3) This is simply noise and I can just cross it off the list so I can free up more space to tackle the real worries. Many times, our brains run thoughts habitually and repetitively, and isn’t aware that it’s time to let go.

By becoming aware of these thoughts, we can make the decision to stop them.
In order to identify your worries, you can start by asking yourself the following questions:
* What am I worried about?
* What am I worried will happen?
* Is this a real problem that I’m facing, or a “what if”?
* Do I have any control over it?
* Is this a warning sign that I need to work on it, or am making it bigger than it needs to be?
* What’s the worst that could happen?

Spending a few minutes on finding clarity in this way can save you whole lot of time, energy and suffering. Accept the things you cannot change, and focus on the ones you can.

 

3. Schedule time for your worries. This is not a joke. Research shows that people that commit to intentionally allocate some specific time for worry, are able to go through their days with much less of it.

A very helpful strategy to help you minimise worry is to allocate 15-30 minutes a day initially, ideally at the same time, to deal with whatever is troubling you, and to consider a solution. If you put this strategy in place and do it consistently, you will find that worrying throughout your day will reduce dramatically. You are not stopping the worry, you are just postponing it, and you know that you will be dealing with it at the allocated time.
During this time, write your worries down. Letting all your emotions out on paper helps empty the fears out of your mind.
Use your worry time productively by thinking of solutions to the worries.

4. Make time for mindfulness and meditation. Some of the most effective strategies to stop worrying are the ones based in mindfulness practices, which involves non-judgemental awareness of your thoughts and emotions.


Reliving the past or worrying about the future is an easy way to get carried away by disaster scenarios. Instead, spend more time and attention in the present moment. If you feel you are starting to worry, take a moment to slow things down. Take a few deep breaths and become more aware of what is happening all around you right now. Take it all in with all your senses. Feel it, see it, smell it, hear it and sense it on your skin. And feel your worries melt away with this mindfulness technique.
Additionally, taking time to meditate daily can really help reduce anxiety, as brain scans show.

Studies on meditation show that it doesn’t just lower anxiety levels, but it also has effects on the areas of the brain that control emotions, thinking and worrying. Meditation takes your attention away from your mental chatter and places it on the present moment, which creates a feeling of inner calm and serenity.

5. Exercise. Getting your heart pumping is a sure way to beat stress and worry. Exercising affects the brain activity of serotonin – a.k.a. the “happy” hormone.

Studies actually show that in the long term, exercise works better than medication, because few things work better than consistently working out to release inner tensions and to move out of a headspace prone to worrying.
Working out makes you feel more decisive and focused, helps you build a stronger body and it also has plenty of mental benefits – this is an easy choice if you are serious about getting rid of your worries!

6. Find evidence to back up your worries. I want to invite you to spend some time going back into those times when you were worried about something, and whether those worries became a reality. Most likely, most things you worry about have never happened.
You may argue that bad things happen to good people, and you are right, however worrying constantly about what could happen won’t stop these unfortunate events from happening. On the contrary, the more time you spend focused on the the unpleasant aspects of life, the more you will seem to attract.
So rather than constantly worrying about what may happen, we could just learn to let things we cannot predict be, and if they do happen, then we just simply deal with them, in the best way that we can, as we have always done. Much learning and growth comes from such situations. This is a far better approach than the constant worry about may never eventuate into a reality.
So when you feel worries creeping up, ask yourself:
How many of my previous worries or fears did actually happen?
If you are like me, then the answer will be very few. And even the few ones that did eventuate, were nowhere near as painful or horrible as I expected them to be. So keep reminding yourself that the probabilities of worries coming to life are working in your favour.

7. Problem solve your worries away. If you are concerned that your worry is legitimate, take it a step further and create some time to look at ways to solve this problem. Make sure that you are very clear as what it is that you are worried about, and write it down. Think of any possible ways to solve it. You may find that you are either able to solve it fully, or not completely. If this is the case, try to identify what’s needed to fully come to a resolution, i.e. do you need more information, support, a way to minimise risk, learn a new skill… identify the steps needed and take action accordingly. Once you have a plan and start taking action towards solving the problem, you’ll find the worries melting away.
And for those worries you simply cannot solve, consider embracing uncertainty. Many of us need certainty and predictability in order to feel some sense of control over the future. In such cases, worrying isn’t the answer. Instead, you need to accept that uncertainty is a part of life, and that no amount of worry will create the outcome you are after. The truth is that you don’t know whether something bad – or great – may happen in the future. So focus on problem solving those things you can control and learn to tolerate some discomfort.

* A worthy note under this section that I would like you to also consider is this – if you want to worry less, you may need to keep your online addiction under control. All the time that you spend scrolling through social media and being online is not doing your mental health any favours. So learn to take control of your online habits before technology controls you.

8. Speak your worries out loud. Instead of letting them live and grow wild inside your head, let your worries out into the light. This may sound simple, and yet it is one of the most effective ways to deal with worry.
By talking about your worries out loud with someone close to you, you are able to see the situation for what it really is. Venting about you worries will help you gain perspective and insight on the issue and you may even start to wonder what got you so worried in the first place. Our worries always seem much bigger and worse than they really are in our heads, so have the courage to find someone to talk to so you can work through the situation.

Likewise, don’t be afraid to ask for other people’s perspective on the topic. It may be just what you need to help you see what you are too close to observe.

And if you don’t have anybody to talk to, or find it very difficult, you can always resort to journaling – spilling it out of your mind onto paper by writing about it. The most important aspect for this to work is to be able to let your worry out of your head and seeing the logic or reflecting about it either by talking or reading about it. You will find much clarity and ways to move forward whilst kissing your worries away.

As you can see, there are many ways in which we can work on proactively reducing and even eliminating our worries. I invite you to work through each one of the above steps to help you enjoy more of a worry-free life and savour more of the great things that life has to offer.
Here’s to your success!
With much love and appreciation,
Isabel x

5 Reasons Why We Don’t Ask For Help, And 5 Effective Steps To – Help You :) – Do It With Ease

Posted on by Posted in Coaching 1 Comment
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I don’t know about you, but I used to feel very uncomfortable asking for help in times of need. I still do to a degree, but thankfully that’s changing, and it isn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

The moment that all changed for me was a few months back, on a Saturday morning. Once again I was alone with my children at home, and my daughter had to go to art class and I needed to take my son downtown. It had been raining heavily for a while, which for any of you living in Bangkok, you know this may be a deal breaker on what you manage to do with your day. I looked out the balcony and couldn’t see any major floods, so I decided to take the kids to their appointments. After dropping my daughter off, as I was driving with my son on the motorbike, we got ourselves caught into some flooding.

I had done this stretch of the road in flood waters many times before, and I thought we’d be safe to proceed. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the waters suddenly became very deep and the engine in the bike stopped. I found myself trying to hold a motorcycle, my son, and a heavy bag with my work and laptop. It was an awful moment. I decided to dump the bike on the side of the road as I could no longer keep us safe. I grabbed my heavy backpack and my son, and I just went for it… the longest walk of my life, walking through the floods in central Bangkok, with all kind of interesting things floating on it. What I haven’t mentioned yet is the fact that I had tripped my back only a few days prior, and could hardly straighten up, let alone carry my son.

I could have so easily turned around before the big floods, or go into a restaurant and not have to drag my son to his appointment, or call a friend for assistance; but no, my stupid heroic complex would not allow me to make any logical decisions. I had to do it, and asking for help was never an option. I’ll be honest, I was in tears by the end of that day. My back was killing me, I wasn’t sure if the bike would work again, and I didn’t know where to go to get it fixed. My son was mad at me because we couldn’t meet his friend later on as  I had promised him. I felt completely defeated and powerless, and couldn’t wait for the day to be over. Earlier that day, a friend called me and offered to help, which of course I shut down straight away, even though what I really wanted to do was to say yes, please, help!

That day I decided that my fear of asking for – and receiving help – had to change. My own stupidity and pride was making me go through unnecessary struggles, and if things didn’t change, a day like the one I just had would continue to repeat itself. And I just wasn’t up for that anymore. So in that moment, I committed to work on asking for help, and to accept help if it was offered to me. After all, I am the first one to lend a hand whenever I see anyone in need; that part came easy, so maybe it was time to receive some as well.

So I got thinking, why am I so bad at asking for and accepting help? I also know this is quite a common problem, faced by many, specially women. Here are the top 5 reasons that I came up with, and I hope that you can resonate with them:

1. You don’t know what to ask for – Very often the situations or circumstances that we are faced with require us to handle so much, that we simply don’t have a clear understanding of what we really need to ask for, and don’t know how people can provide any relevant help to ease our situation. The fact is that, unless we are aware of the things that we are struggling with, we simply won’t be able to express our needs clearly.

2. You feel that you need to be self-reliant – Or, as I like to call it, you have “heroine syndrome”, where you pretend to have superpowers that allow you to do it all – ha!. You somehow feel that you need to do everything that comes your way, and accepting help would mean that you are not able to cope with your load.

3. Pride and ego – Some of us may feel that we can handle and do anything, like we are able to save ourselves and others, and somehow the prospect of getting help is simply not a viable option. You don’t want to appear weak or needy, or you don’t want to have to repay the favour. You don’t want to inconvenience others. The list goes on and on.

4. Shame – Somehow you may feel that you don’t deserve to be helped. We have also convinced ourselves that we are so independent that we don’t let anybody to help us with anything. Somehow you may feel that you are supposed to be perfect, and relying on others is simply not an option. You don’t want others to see you failing.

5. Refusal – We are afraid they may say no. Maybe we needed help in the past and people who knew about it didn’t help, or maybe someone said no to us in the past, or believed we didn’t really need help.

 Let me tell you the biggest lesson that I learned about this topic. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Since I started asking for help, and accepting it whenever someone offered it, my quality of life, and sense of wellbeing, has improved dramatically.

Do you still feel uneasy or uncomfortable asking for help? Try these 5 effective steps to get you enjoying the benefits of being helped:

1. Make a list. Create a list of what you need help with. The best way to ask for help, is to get clear on it. By becoming aware of it, it’ll be much easier to assign specific tasks and understand how to request specific help.

2. Get clear on who can help. Think about those people who had offered to help in the past, and you didn’t take them up on the offer. In my experience, people who offer help actually do mean it. You may be able to identify who of those people could help you with some of the list items, or you may need to find new ways of getting help. Getting clear will help you take action.

3. Speak up. Talk openly about what you are going through and what you would like to get help with. Please don’t make people have to guess what you need or want. We are terrible at doing that. We don’t communicate openly, yet we expect people to understand our needs and come to the rescue, when in most cases they simply aren’t aware of you really want. Be specific and direct, and make it easy for people to say yes.

4. Offer help. If you put yourself out there and give help, in whichever way you are able to, then asking for help will also become easier. Try to work with your relationships on both giving and receiving, and you will feel more worthy of accepting help. If you just take all the time, without giving anything back, then people may not want to be there for you when you really need them.
5. Be grateful. Always thank anyone who helped you, and take a moment to notice how you are making them feel by doing so. Appreciating another person is rewarding for all people involved, and chances are, they will continue to be there for you in times of need if they feel that you value their assistance, and you are also there for them.

The truth is that we all need help from time to time, and during those times, help is at hand, if you know what you need and how to ask for it. You are not meant to do it alone, so swallow your pride, your fear, your shame or whatever it is, and just dare to ask for help.

 

 

 Put yourself out there and make yourself available when others need help too. You will come to find that people do care, that people want to help and that helping others feels great!

Over to you now: Are you clear on what you need help with? Have you clearly expressed your needs to people that have the potential to help you? When was the last time you offered help to someone in need?

Write down the top thing that you would love to receive help with, and then work on finding a way to ask for assistance with it. Don’t stop until you can cross the task off your list.

Here’s to your success!

With Love,

Isabel x

7 Simple Ways To Speak Your Mind With Confidence – Without Fearing Rejection –

Posted on by Posted in Coaching
woman using smartphone

I see it all the time in my clients… their brilliance, their creativity, their intuition; their amazing ability to communicate and express their view of the world in a way that only they can. I so look forward to the fascinating conversations that I hold with each one of them, where they share their dreams, their fears, their past failures… it is all a part of a puzzle that makes them who they are, imperfectly beautiful. When they are able to open up and be vulnerable in front of another person… that’s when the real magic happens. When they let go of any inhibitions and just allow themselves to speak their truth… that’s when the transformation takes place.

And yet, whenever we start discussing about going out into the world showing who they really are, express their views, ideas, and their truth, I can sense their fear creeping in, causing them to disconnect from that inner source that allows them to express themselves authentically and genuinely.

“I never speak to anybody else the way that I do with you. Even to my own family and partner”. They tell me. “Why do you think that is?” I ask them. They all have a big list of reasons: “Well, I am afraid that if I do, they won’t agree with me, or they will think I am crazy, they will reject my ideas; they won’t support me, or worse, they’ll judge me, and finally see that there is something wrong with me, that I am not as good / clever / interesting as they think I am.”

This overwhelming list of arguments provides them with the back up they need to continue to hide their true self, even though, in the back of their minds, they seem to be aware that this is holding them back from fully expressing their potential and manifesting all that they seek in business and in life.

We have convinced ourselves that the pretend version that we got so good at presenting to the world, is somehow a better version of us. Now, go back and read that statement again. Does it really make sense to you? When did we decide to stop being who we were born to be, and become the impostor running our lives? And more importantly, how does it make you feel when you are having to show up in your life as a whole different person? Do you catch yourself being conflicted with how you act and how you’d really like to show up – if only you had the confidence to do it!

But why aren’t we speaking up? Simply put, we are afraid. Our fears are born of our perception of reality. Whether these fears are based in reality or not is irrelevant, because they are real to us. We all come across situations where we feel that we are being treated unfairly, or believe we have a better idea but are afraid or too shy to speak up, or we simply don’t believe that our ideas and views are good enough. Many of us adults find it very difficult to speak up and confront others about a difficult subject, especially if we believe that the other person may react negatively.

 The reality for most of us is the fact that we are so used to speak just to please others, or to be accepted, or sit by the sidelines and let others do the talking, that we have lost our ability to understand the real value that we can bring into the world by just allowing ourselves to show up in our own true light. We hide behind a mask that we have created to justify to the world our very existence, our value, and our worth.

Let me ask you a question: if you could speak up to anyone about anything, with complete confidence, without the fear of being rejected, or judged, just feeling good about showing up in your own capacity, would you want to do it? Or, would you continue to hide behind the mask? Who’s to say that the real you isn’t in fact more beautiful than the mask that you carry around?

“Every word has consequences. Every silence, too.”         Jean – Paul Sartre

If you wish you could speak up confidently, then I have you covered. Keep reading on to find out 7 simple ways to help you speak your mind with confidence, without fearing rejection:

1. Get to know the real you. People won’t know who you really are or what’s important to you if you don’t clearly communicate it to them. We are constantly making assumptions of how the world see us, what they think of us, and what we need and want. I can tell you, that we do not have the ability to read your mind. Additionally, not everyone is going to like or agree with you, no matter who you are or what you do. That’s just a fact of life. We are all different. There is however tremendous strength and power in speaking your truth, and expressing it to the world your way.  Confident people know themselves and know what is important to them, and work on finding ways to show up in a way that’s true to them. They are not as concerned about others, but their own needs, without stepping into someone’s shoes. Confident people are not only good at getting what they want, they are also good at knowing what they truly want. If you do the work to get to know yourself, the real you, who you are and what you stand for, what’s important to you, what makes you happy, what gives you a sense of purpose and your needs and desires, the better you’ll be able to communicate it to others. Very often we simply don’t feel like we know what to say or how to say it because we are lacking clarity.

2. Become aware of your fears. If you want to move past the initial feeling that stops you from speaking up, you are going to have to do some digging and understand the kind of thoughts and arguments that contribute to these feelings. You can easily become aware of your fears by saying to yourself: “I am afraid of speaking up because……..”, then completing the sentence. Keep doing it until you feel that you have covered all of the possible fears and arguments that are stopping you. The more responses you come up with, the greater the opportunity to expose the source of your fear. Look for the logic in your arguments. The brain loves evidence and real data. Very often we make assumptions and consider them as facts; but if there are no supporting facts, then you know that you are really just making it up. Challenge your fears by asking yourself the following: “Is the way I see this fear the absolute truth?” and “What facts or evidence do I have to back it up?”

3. Appreciate differences of opinion. Just because another person holds a very different view of the world, or believe in completely opposite ideas to yours, it does not mean conflict will arise. And even when real conflict arises, we tend to assume that a difference of opinion will lead to a negative outcome, which isn’t necessarily the case, if you know how to navigate through such conversations. The fact is that each one of us view the world differently. We all make judgements, decisions and hold beliefs relating to our reality of the world. Just because someone else may hold a very different view of the world, it doesn’t mean that they are right and you are wrong, or vice versa. Consider this, if you view differences of opinion from a place of curiosity, from wanting to know the other person’s view of the world, then agreeing to disagree doesn’t seem like such a scary topic. When you are curious to learn about the other person, without the expectation of having to conclude in agreement, then fear turns into possibility. So next time you are faced with having to speak up, allow yourself to speak your truth, and engage with the other person with the purpose to listen and understand their view of the world. Even on the small chance that things may get heated, I can almost guarantee that you will survive to tell the tale. Stop thinking that people will react negatively to you. I found that most of the time, people respond really well to the truth, if it really is your truth, and you are communicating in a respectful way.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”  George Bernard Shaw

4. Face your fears – In most cases, putting yourself “out there” and being met with an angry, mocking or dismissive response from another adult doesn’t actually kill you or significantly damage your life. In actual fact, if you continue to speak up, you may be surprised at your resilience in response to any and all possible reactions. We avoid confrontations because we’re irrationally afraid of what will happen, and in most cases we think that we can’t handle it. The best way to let go of this fear is to do precisely what you’re afraid of, or as I like to put it: “Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway”. This action allows us to discover that we can actually handle the consequences, that our world doesn’t fall apart, and in most cases our relationships actually benefit from our honesty and transparency. This is assuming, of course, that we’ve done our best to communicate our truth in a straightforward, non-abusive and respectful way.

5. Practise makes perfect. If you really want to speak up with confidence, you are going to have to “jump off the cliff”, so to speak, and get good at practising the art of speaking up. The best way to start rehearsing is by choosing an easier topic, a smaller one, and rehearsing ways in which to speak up about it. Practise at home, with a friend, sign up for a public speaking course, online or locally. You won’t just learn how to speak clearly, you will also learn to speak better in general. The best way to get good at speaking up with confidence, is to do it as often as you can. Nobody is great at anything in the beginning, so try not to compare yourself to anyone. Start where you are at, and just keep working on your own practise. Be consistent in your practise and, in no time, you will reap incredible benefits.

6. Take responsibility of your own life and actions. People who aren’t confident blame others, when they could instead be taking responsibility for at least some of the issue. They feel overwhelmed by a world that won’t stop, and find it paralysing to step in and take action, so they sit in the sidelines instead. But the reality of it is that nobody will come to your rescue. Everyone else is too busy with their own lives to think about your own needs and wants, so you are going to have to take the initiative to help yourself, and give yourself permission to show up and speak up. Even confident people feel afraid at times, they just lean into the fear and do it anyway, because they know that the benefits of facing your fears greatly outweigh the pain. So, instead of waiting for someone to come to your rescue, or blaming someone else, ask yourself instead: “what can I do to change this?”. Then, focus on taking responsibility for your own actions and show up for yourself. The more you do it, the bigger and better your voice will be, and the easier it will become to speak up.

7. Speak to a professional. If the subject of speaking up still has you paralysed, not to worry, help is at hand. There are a great number of people across many disciplines to help you combat your fears, get to know yourself authentically, and create a life and business you love. Coaching is the perfect answer to those who need some assistance and support in helping them get clear about who they are, what they really want, and how to get there. Feel free to contact me for a no-obligation, 30 minutes consultation to discuss your own individual needs.

Over to you now. What is it that you are scared to say? Who do you need to stand up to? Who do you need to tell how you really feel? If you had to tell the world about who you are and what you stand for, what would say and why? Write down 3 answers and plan how to put them out into the world. Speak up, and watch your world brighten up. Let go of your pretend mask, and enjoy the FREEDOM TO BE YOU!

Here’s to your success!

Isabel x

 Isabel Valle is an accredited ICF PCC Coach, Leadership Mentor and Facilitator currently based in Bangkok. Isabel has held senior positions within the hospitality industry in countries around the world, and facilitates a holistic approach to leadership, growth and success. She specialises in virtual coaching and online mentoring that inspires action and helps leaders from all walks of life around the globe bring their gifts to life to help them create professional excellence and personal fulfilment.  You can contact Isabel on contact@isabelvalle.com.               

 

More information available on www.isabelvalle.com. 

 

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