CAN KINDNESS MAKE YOU A STRONGER LEADER?

I had the most incredible conversation with my 10 year old boy the other day about kindness. After the long stint doing online learning at home due to Covid 19, he was was very happy being back in school, catching up with his friends.

He was also particularly happy that he was able to catch up with his “crash”. He’d never been so open about his feelings about a girl with me before – cutest thing ever!

In the conversation, he confessed that another friend liked her too. I told him if he was OK with that, and he didn’t seem to mind. “The coolest girl in school is liked by tens of boys, so I’m lucky!” he said.

I asked him what it was about the coolest girl that made her so popular among boys, and he said she was pretty, sporty, confident and was good at lots of things.

When I asked him what was different about the girl he liked, he said kindness, and it really took me by surprise. He said he loves kindness, and watched how this girl practises kindness with everyone she knows. I so hope he keeps this trait as a must have quality for whoever happens to steal his heart in life.

I was reminded of another conversation we had a while back, when I was preparing a leadership talk for children at an international school. When I asked him what one of the main qualities of a leader was, he said: “Leaders are not bossy. They are kind”.
I wonder what makes a 10 year old get such a clear sense of something that’s so crucially important. And if a 10 year old can see it so clearly, how come adults don’t? At what point do we let go of the qualities that make us warm, charismatic, impactful leaders?

The fact is, there isn’t enough kindness in this world. It’s difficult to give and even harder to receive. And yet, research into organisations whose leaders put kindness first has shown that they have higher engagement and motivation levels, higher employee retention, and more innovation and creativity among employees. The fact is that your teams value kindness very highly.

Being friendly, generous and considerate will go a long way in getting your people to want to do their best at work. It really isn’t complicated: your employees want you to listen to them and their ideas and to show them you care. Don’t keep them guessing, you may have the best intentions at heart, but we are not mind-readers. If you want to earn the trust and respect of your people, you’re going to show kindness.

Unfortunately, this critical trait does not typically show among the top sough-after leadership skills one must nurture. Don’t let that put you off, practice some kindness and witness the impact it has on you and your people.
Whether you show empathy and compassion for employees going through a tough time at home, treating everyone at every level in the organization with the same respect, taking time to engage and communicate with people at all levels, and appreciating and recognising success in others, the list of act of kindness is vast.

The most successful leaders of our time are people -focused. They don’t just preach they are, they actually show on a daily basis that they do.
A word of warning though, being kind doesn’t mean you have to avoid making the hard decisions or come across as weak. Simply consider the impact your decisions have on people and take steps to ensure that they are treated fairly and with empathy.

Displaying kindness will make you a stronger leader. I challenge you to intentionally create acts of kindness with your staff – and those around you – daily.

To your success,

Isabel

Isabel is an experienced Peak Performance Strategist with over 20 years of international work experience holding senior positions within the hospitality industry in countries around the world, as well as Executive and Leadership coaching, mentoring and training.
She specializes in high performance strategy, leadership development and building organizational culture to help leaders and their teams learn, grow and succeed.
Isabel is passionate about helping empower business leaders with the mindset, performance, skills and strategies that they need to get ahead.
More available on www.isabelvalle.com
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