LEADERS – STOP AVOIDING THE BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

LEADERS – STOP TIPTOEING AROUND THE BIG ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!

We all do it – some more than others. An important topic, a big decision, a difficult question, or controversial issue that everyone knows about but nobody mentions or discusses because it makes people feel uncomfortable or afraid. This is one of the biggest performance blockers for leaders all over.

Many apply the “tiptoeing around” strategy, dedicating time, energy and effort into avoiding dealing directly with the problem itself. We feel apprehensive, insecure or worried about offending or annoying others, or not being able to successfully resolve the situation.

I witness those elephants in pretty much every leader I coach, irrespective of location, industry, background or competency level. I watch capable, talented, qualified leaders do anything in their power to avoid the root cause, letting certain things go, hoping that things will be resolved by themselves.

Well, news flash:

❌ The issue isn’t going away by itself,

❌ The longer you ignore an issue, the worse it becomes

❌ A miracle cure won’t land in your lap, and

❌ Divine intervention is not coming❗️⁉️

As a leader, you must get comfortable being uncomfortable, and learn to confront and engage in conflict and discomfort head on. How you respond to the elephant is a huge test of leadership.

I assure you, your people see the elephant too, and everyone feels the discomfort and no one wants to bring it up. Instead, everyone tiptoes around it, talking about it behind closed doors.

You have to stop tip toeing around the situation, otherwise:

👉  Things will progressively get worse

👉  People’s productivity and overall engagement will drop

👉  Nobody will feel safe speaking up

👉  Your credibility and ability to influence others will disappear

👉  Relationships will hit rock bottom

👉  You may lose your top performers

👉  Your work as a leader will get tougher and more difficult

Rather than spending your energy avoiding conflict, you must keep your eye on the opportunities that tackling conflict could create instead, such as higher levels of performance, a culture of openness and higher accountability, and a happier and more engaged workforce. Acting courageously will help you and your people reach new heights in both performance and overall satisfaction, equipping you to lead and win in today’s complex and turbulent world.

How to Deal With the Elephant 🐘

This is a hard question and sometimes the answer is not easy. A great deal depends on the circumstances, the support you have, and whether the relationship is in good standing. At the end of the day, your own values will drive your decision on what you think should be done.

First of all, acknowledge that there is an elephant, and plan to address it at an appropriate place and time. Your focus needs to be on tackling head on any elephants that show up, the sooner the better. You must consistently reinforce the idea – and act on it – that tiptoeing around issues will not be tolerated. Instead, you must promote a culture of direct, open and transparent communication, where wrongful assumptions, dishonesty, poor or destructive behaviour or lack of performance won’t stand a chance.

This may seem like a big ask if you’re not used to facing areas that make you feel vulnerable, yet you simply cannot expect your people to follow suit if you don’t lead the way with open and honest feedback and sharing of bad news. When battling elephants in the room, you must create a level playing field where everyone feels safe, trusted and valued. I guarantee you, it is harder to think about implementing these changes than to actually apply them. It doesn’t take much time getting used to tackling elephants, and you’ll be able to witness some real quick wins early on, helping you get more comfortable sooner than you think.  

As a leader, when faced with difficult conversations or situations, you have a choice to make. You either address the elephant in the room, or you avoid bringing up difficult topics. Don’t let uncomfortable conversations get on the way of your leadership potential. Build respect and trust in your people by practising direct, honest communication, even if the facts are unpleasant. Transform the elephant into an obstacle that people can tackle together before it turns into a full-fledged circus!

So, are you ready to confront the “big elephant in the room,” and manage the elephants living and thriving in your organization? I’d love to hear from you. And if you have any ideas you feel like sharing that might be helpful to others, please share them in the comments section below.

To your success,

Isabel

Isabel is an experienced Peak Performance Strategist with over 20 years of international work experience holding senior positions within the hospitality industry in countries around the world, as well as Executive and Leadership coaching, mentoring and training.

She specializes in high performance strategy, leadership development and building organizational culture to help leaders and their teams learn, grow and succeed.
Isabel is passionate about helping empower business leaders with the mindset, performance, skills and strategies that they need to get ahead.
More available on www.isabelvalle.com