When it comes to leadership development, one of the top priorities identified by both clients and their sponsors is wanting to become more confident in being able to speak up and present their ideas. We seem to have this idealised notion that in order to be effective, influential leaders, we must be assertive, dominant, and always clear on the way forward. Yet nothing could be further from the truth.
In working with leaders at all levels across the globe, I’ve come to realise that there are many types of leaders, and no cookie cutter approach can be applied to secure the success of any given leader.
There are incredibly successful introverted leaders, who don’t need to show up or speak up often to command a room. There are also many leaders who thrive in taking the spotlight at any given opportunity, without necessarily influencing anyone around. I am often curious to understand why the louder types don’t seem to be asked to “tone it down”.
Just as there is value in being able to express your ideas and present them confidently, there is also great value in knowing when to keep quiet, when to let others speak up, and let go of always needing to be in the spotlight.
I often attend meetings where everybody wants to speak and show off their knowledge. But not everyone is programmed that way. For some, speaking up allows them to clarify their ideas, whereas others need silence and time to process their thoughts. People who remain silent very often come up with incredible ideas. They just need some room and silence to feel comfortable expressing them.
Being able to remain silent is in fact one of the most powerful tools a leader has at its disposal. Silence is a strength, not a weakness, and it requires more courage than speaking up.
As leaders, we need to be able to read the social cues in the room and understand when to talk, and when to sit down and listen.
I often find that those who don’t speak up often, but take ample time to listen to others, come up with the most creative, simpler decisions. They don’t lack ideas. Quite the opposite; it is in listening to others that they are able to come up with far more possibilities and options than those who only take their opinion into consideration.
It takes courage to sit and listen to someone’s views, especially when we don’t agree with them. This is where silence requires courage. Those who speak, only speak about those things they know, whereas those who listen, they are learning something new. Telling or learning, what do you choose?
So next time you feel the urge to speak, pay attention to the social cues in the room and put on a curiosity hat. Before you jump in with the solution, give everyone in the room the opportunity to come up with their own conclusions. If you notice someone taking over the whole meeting, ask questions to those you know are quietly listening, and give them the space and the silence they need to speak up.
If you want to be an effective, influential leader, learn to stand up and speak up, and more importantly, know when to sit down and listen.
To your success,
Isabel
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